How Long-Term Relationships Work

Communication Is The Key To Excellence

If you want a long-term relationship, this is a great article to read and absorb. You will see why so many fail prematurely. First, you must know that I’ve been married to the most amazing person I could have ever found. She is literally, my best friend. We have been together for over twenty four years, and we are still going strong. Our secret isn’t really a secret at all. It’s a very simple concept, and it has much to do with mutual respect, kindness, and integrity. We don’t hold secrets from one another and we talk very candidly with each other because brutal honesty has always been our code of ethics.

Shahryar & Angie Sadree

Additionally, we are both very open minded to hear each other’s point of view. We don’t always agree on everything. But here is where respect is key. Strong communication requires learning how to speak. But, listening is a skill that I had to learn to master even more. I’m still a work in progress with this one. Listening requires more than just waiting to speak. Listening is actually hearing what the other person is saying, and placing myself in their position. To truly understand what they are trying to communicate requires more than pushing our own point.

Communication Breakdown

Relationships fail because couples don’t know how to communicate with each other. Also, they don’t understand that communication is the fundamentals of any long-term relationship. Couples who can’t communicate openly and honestly with each other will not last long together. Being honest with one another is the best way to build a long-lasting relationship. Whatever the agreement happens to be, lying and cheating cannot occur when both know what is in that mutual agreement, and both abide by that agreement. This is also where mutual respect come into play.

Honesty Is The Best Policy In Long-Term Relationships

These are words of wisdom. Be honest and you won’t need to rely on shoddy memory. Besides, your memory isn’t going to remain sharp forever. If you want your relationship to last, you will need to learn to be open and honest with your partner. So, choose a mate wisely. Compatibility is almost always overlooked. If you have to lie to your mate to keep them happy, or pretend to be someone you aren’t, you aren’t compatible. This will eventually take you both across a very bumpy terrain. The relationship will feel uncomfortable and stressed for both parties. Nobody likes being cheated on, so don’t be the one to do it. Also, if you feel tension in the relationship, speak up and either work it out, or find a civil way to end it before taking the other partner any further.

Love Isn’t Ownership

Don’t fall in love; get in tune. People fall head over heels in love with each other, and when the shine wears off from the relationship, they look for ways to hurt each other. Or they become bitter, jealous and place expectations on one another. Love isn’t about ownership. You can’t control your partner like a pet and expect them to desire that kind of treatment.

Even pets prefer freedom over control. We can learn a lot from animals. In their world, being free is being loved. To love is never to control. As for our furry friends, the human world has tight restrictions on their freedom, and ours, if we want to have them as companions. The laws set by humans says that our domesticated animals are our property. We have documents of ownership that claim them as real property. Maybe that’s why we have this sense of entitled ownership over those we say that we love? In any case, ownership is the furthest thing from love. If we want to experience a true love relationship for the long-term, we need to give up this delusion that controlling it is the best action to take.

In Conclusion

People seem to put more planning and effort into the wedding than the actual marriage. I can go on about how shallow we are in our thinking. But that’s not to offend, but more to observe why so many marriages fall apart, and even more tragically, why so many children are brought into the war between two hateful parents who selfishly use them, to get back at the other. It begins when you lie you yourself first. Then, you lie to each other.